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FashShaf

My life as a mom, draped in textures and prints.

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My Internal Struggle after the Power Struggle by Nik Rabinowitz

I felt cheated. That’s the best way to describe the feeling I was left with after sitting front and centre at the theatre production, The Power Struggle, performed by Nik Rabinowitz at the Baxter Theatre on Friday evening.

I should have started with this, I did not score comps to the show; I paid R195, and it was the first time in two years I treated myself to a night out, actually, two hours is more accurate. I’m a mom, and that’s really it. I don’t often enjoy ‘night life’ (I was told, my definition of it is a little off the mark). When I say ‘night life’ though, I refer to being outside, mostly on my own property, with a cup of tea, at 21h30 on a Friday, whilst simultaneously hanging the laundry.

Back to the show. I chose this particular show as the one night-pass I give myself every 24 months. I know, I’m a thrill seeker. Somehow I just never follow through and find it. I decided on this show because I needed a fucking night out with someone who’s not a parent to make sure I didn’t talk about how little sleep I’m getting; I wanted to support Nik and my insanely talented and incredibly witty friend, Darrel Bristow-Bovey, who co-wrote the material for the production.

It must be said that before I booked tickets, I read the description, which stated that this show, unlike the rest of Nik’s material, has a point. While I was in stitches for a large part of the show, the feeling I had after I left is really what I wanted to share.

I won’t be saying anything about the show itself because anything I do say wouldn’t really do it justice. And, at the end of this, I will encourage you to go and feel for yourself, so no spoiler alerts here – as you were.

It was all feeling for me. Besides the asthma pump I had to use after the show, because of all the laughing (I don’t have asthma, by the way), I had another feeling. This one wasn’t restricted to lungs, but passed through my entire body like a ghost through a wall, before settling in my stomach. I felt cheated. I went to break away from life, but I failed horribly. I was brought so much closer to it, to the reality of a world greater than me…us. When he started, I listened and related to him and his words as a mother first, and then a citizen of earth. By the time I left, I was a citizen first and then a mother. That shift, and then admitting to that – as a mom – is powerful enough and frightening at the same time.

I do have conversations with friends about this place we call home, and the way we’re leaving it for the generations to come, but I always lacked the answers. I realised on Friday evening that it was probably because I was never present to my role as a passerby through my own life. I didn’t find an answer after the show, I don’t think there is just one.  The way I thought about the life I lead, changed, and that’s where it should start, I think.

24 hours after the show, and I no longer feel cheated. I no longer feel cheated because I discovered that the feeling was guilt in disguise. It was guilt for not thinking about this more fervently before. Now that I know, and can be authentic about the fact that it was guilt, I am trying to be more conscious of my contribution to the lives of now and the future…hoping we still have one. And if we don’t, I will go silently, without the guilt, because that shit can eat away at a soul long after you no longer exist in the physical realm.

Go have a laugh, at your own risk. You may walk out with nothing more than when you went in, except for a sore head and tummy after a fit of the giggles, or you may just come out with so much more.

*Catch Nik at the Baxter Theatre until 16 April. Tickets can be booked via Computicket.

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Running and secondary amenorrhea

Saturday, 12 March, marked one month since I started running, and in those four weeks, I covered about 35 kilometers. To celebrate the occasion, my instructor recommended that I walk for 2 kilometers to warm up for the ‘mommy race’ to be held at Hanaan’s Sports Day the following day. I spent the Saturday in Darling instead, attending close friends’ wedding and stuffing my face with dessert. That brownie though. 

I digress…

Zahraa and I after our first run on Monday. My eyes were sweating.
After my first run on 12 February 2016

Besides the 12 February being the day I set foot on the track, it also marks the last time I got my period. In 17 years, I have never missed a period, other than when I was pregnant, so I realised that running may have affected my body and my menstrual cycle. I know that under-fueling is real and that when the input and metabolic expenditure do not add up, a side effect can be secondary amenorrhea.

I’ve been reading up about secondary amenorrhea, which is going from a normal cycle to the absence of it for six months or more. This side effect is more common that I thought, and there are many females who experience this. Surely, this can’t be good in the long run though, even though the thought of not having a period is exciting.

I was naturally concerned, since I took a pregnancy test on Monday evening and it was negative. I spoke to my doctor the very next morning, who advised me to cut back on running just a little bit, and aim to run twice a week, at a pace I’m comfortable with, instead of four times a week.

According to Runner’s World, it can take a few months, to over a year to stabilise your body’s system and regain a normal cycle again. Based on their recommendations, this is what I’ll be doing to naturally ‘heal’ my body after the shock to the system:

  • Truly understand my energy consumption and my expenditure by keeping a spreadsheet.
  • I’ve set a new training routine: twice a week, for 3 to 4 kilometers a day. Sticking to this will help my body adjust to its new schedule.
  • Increasing my calorie intake with healthier foods.
  • Be present to my body and its needs.
  • See a doctor regularly to make sure I’m getting everything I need.

If you’re a female runner, who has/had experience with this, please share your advice with me? When this happened, did you continue to run? Did your exercise routine change? Did you regain your cycle? Anything at this point, even encouragement to continue, will be appreciated.

Thank you for reading and sharing with me.

Me winning the ‘mommy race’ which was the very last time I ran.

 

Shaf

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Basic make-up to compliment any look

Just last year, I had a basic make-up bag, big enough to comfortably house four pads. There was a lipstick, lip ice, eyeliner and blusher. Fast forward a few months and I now have a basic bag, bigger than my husband’s lunch bag.

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Here are some of my favourite items: 

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Yardley’s Loose Bronzing Powder in Sunset Kisses: This is a tricky product, but can be truly effective if used correctly. I apply this very sparingly to my brush, and sweep across my cheekbones in an outward motion. I then use the rest of the powder, left on the brush, to go over the bridge of my nose and my chin. This I got at a steal for R60 at a hidden cosmetic store, which I’ll reveal further down in this post…keep reading!

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STAY Blushed! by Rimmel London: This is a liquid tint blush, which leaves a glowy finish without too much of a shine. I have them in Peach Flush and Touch of Berry. They cost about R40 each. I do prefer the powder blush but these are great to add for a bolder, more shimmery look. It also feels really smooth and applies like a lotion.

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Blush and bronzer: I love my Yardley bronzer in 01 Golden. This I use as base after I’ve moisturised. It’s quite subtle so I apply it quite liberally to my cheeks and the outline of my face for a soft, golden tone. I also have the Colours Limited Blusher/Bronzer duo set in Poker Face from Foshini, which only cost around R30 on sale but I have to go with the Yardley brand here. The Colours Limited brand’s bronzer is great, but the blusher is a bit too bright for me. It leaves an almost pale pink tone to my skin, so when I use them, I blend the two for a more neutral shade. I also love my Yardley Stayfast Velvet Blusher in Sherry Sparkle and the Ralo blusher in Tawny Rose. Both these blushers are the closest I’ve found to a perfect shade for my skin.

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Lipsticks: I love brights, nudes and all colours in between. I picked up my favourites from that same store (details below) for R200. Yes! for all of them. The ones I currently have in my hand bag are Rimmel London in Amethyst Shimmer 260 and Shocking Pink 220; Bourjois Paris in 122 (red) and 101 (coral);  and a Yardley Supermoist in Coral Passion. I love using Maybelline’s Baby Lips in Cherry Me (bought at Checkers) as an undercoat to all of them. I find that if I use it under, instead of over, I never get clumps.

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Face Mist (Vitamin E) from The Body Shop: It costs around R130 and will last a very long time, since you only need one spray after applying your make-up. Even when I’m not wearing any make-up, I find that a spray before I leave home helps, especially during summer. It’s very refreshing and I love the smell (Rosewater).

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While there’s lots more in my make-up bag, I think these are my favourites for now. I’ll be sure to share more of my buys with you as I make my way through my unused handbags, where I’m sure I’ll find heaps more. Going through my bags is like a shopping trip without spending the money 😀

Oh, before I forget, the cosmetic store I spoke about earlier is called Cosmetic XS: Unit 5, Block A, Cnr. Celie & Bark Roads, Tokai. Tel: 021 701 3221- when you stop by, let me know what you find, and send me a thank you note, because you’ll want to 😉

Thank you for reading!

Shaf

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An undefined style

FotorCreated Fash

I never quite understood the term ‘he’/she has no style’. Even if you’re in your birthday suit, that’s a style. At least that’s what I think.

I’m influenced by patterns and textures that catch my eye, not necessarily the season’s hottest trends. I’m more of a whatever the hell I like and feel comfy in kinda gal. 

My treasured pieces: 

  • I love the headscarf. I’m not always in it, but I enjoy experimenting with different ways in which to wrap it. I’ve got about 15 styles covered – excuse the pun. I’m hoping to do a tutorial about that in the near future, and also a post on the real reason I cut my hair (Delayed shock! for those of you who don’t already know)
  • I have recently added watches to my collection of accessories. I have not worn a watch in 10 years, (mainly due to the fact that I develop instant eczema if it’s not gold, and can’t justify spending money on gold watches to go with every outfit.) Also, I don’t like time-tracking – I try to do what I’m meant/like to do, without time constraints. For work-related projects with tight deadlines, I’ve always just used the time on my laptop/phone.
  • Shoes. Okay…now this should be a post on its own. I may, or may not, own “enough” (my husband would go with the last word). Wedges (incl. wedged sneakers), stilettos, boots, flats, you name it. I love ’em all.
  • Jeans. While I’m loving palazzo pants, dresses and skirts at the moment, I have to at least see my jeans in my closet every day. My favourite pair is my 7 for All Mankind jeans from the States. The fit is great and it probably made the list because before last year, I could not fit into them since before my pregnancy.

I shop around and never feel like I have to spend loads to feel and look good. I buy from chain stores; markets, designer stores, and pop-up stores.

I’ll do a post on some of my recent buys, including prices and quality.

P.S I am not a stylist, self-proclaimed or otherwise, I just enjoy playing around. I do have a brain though, so if you have a question, comment, or rant, go right ahead. You can even find my email on my Contact page here.

Shaf (It’s ALMOST Fash [short for Fashion, duh!] spelt backwards….ALMOST)

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About Shaf

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This is daunting. Welcome anyway… 🙂

I’ve been told, and in some cases, demanded, that I start a blog. Well, here I am. Now what?

Who am I? 

Shafeeka Anthony, also knows as Shaf. I’m a 28 year old mom to a gorgeous and intelligent three year old little girl, wife and career woman, with a recently piqued interest in fashion. I am hoping to share with you my: best buys and own creations; parenting lows and highs; my career; and a little bit of everything else.

Let’s play it by ear, while we play with fashion, life and everything in between.

I’m looking forward to it…

Thank you for joining me on this journey!

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Me, at the Knysna Elephant Park in 2015

Shaf x

 

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